Healthy Codependence

Blessings Friends,

John 14:16:

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever.”


Have you considered the ramifications of that promise made by Jesus before He was crucified?

It might not mean much to anyone who has not met Jesus, but think about the disciples who heard those words. They had been walking with Jesus for three years, watching, listening, learning. They had seen Him do countless healings and miracles. He had given them the authority to do the same and even “greater works.” Now their beloved leader was telling them He was leaving them and that they could not go where He was going.

How alone they must have felt when they saw Jesus hanging on the Cross. Did they remember His promise? Then imagine their joy at seeing Jesus, risen from the dead and in their midst again!

The loss of my grandmother devastated me. Sometimes she would appear in my dreams I was so happy–until I realized I was only dreaming. Then it was like losing her all over again. It hurt just as deeply as the first time I lost her.

The disciples actually got their beloved Jesus back in the flesh! Then, after having lost Him and regained Him, He informs them He has to leave again. I can only imagine how their hearts must have fallen. I know I would have thought, But, now that I know You, I can’t live without You!

Those of us who have received Jesus as our Savior also have the privilege of knowing Him. We first experience His beauty and unconditional love when He takes our sins and sets us free, and as we walk with Him, He reveals more of Himself to us.

Can you imagine what life would be like having enjoyed His presence, only to be left to live on your own?

But we don’t have to imagine, because Jesus gave us His Spirit. What a blessing to know that The Holy Spirit is a constant help and guide! Nothing has made that more clear to me than fasting. When my hunger for God became greater than my hunger for food, I began to realize what agony life would be without Him. It would be unbearable. Now, more than ever, I understand David’s plea in Psalm 51:11:

“Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.”

That gift, that relationship, is something to be treasured, nurtured. The Holy Spirit is a person. He desires communion with us. He wants to be talked to, and He wants to be listened to.

I read a book on codependence a number of years ago that talked about the dangers of becoming “enmeshed” with others. Their problems and drama become your own, and vice-versa, until you lose your identity in theirs.

Between human beings, who are sinful, weak, and fallible, this is an extremely unhealthy way to live. But The Holy Spirit is perfect in love, knowledge, and truth. He is exactly the person we need to become enmeshed with. He is our source of comfort, strength, guidance, wisdom, power, and most importantly, love. He wants nothing more than to bless us, not only with these gifts, but with more than we could ever imagine!

How important it is to seek that enmeshment with The Holy Spirit! Because He is one with The Son and The Father, becoming one with The Spirit is to become one with our Creator and our Savior as well!

How do we do this? By nurturing this relationship. Talking to Him, listening to Him . . . and, hardest of all, waiting on Him. Until the voices of the past and the harassment of the enemy fade away, and His voice is the only one we hear.

Holy Spirit, thank You for coming to live in me. I don’t want You to be just an observer in my life. I want You to be an active participant! Remind me to make time for You each day. Teach me to know Your voice. Open my eyes and show me the untold wonders of my Lord and Savior, that I might glorify Him on Earth as He is in Heaven. In Jesus name, Amen.

God’s grace and peace be yours,


Subscribe to "Promise of the Day" and receive your free copy of
"3 Practices of People who Visit Heaven"

Subscribe to "Arise!" and receive your free copy of
"Break Free! Your Personal Guide to Forgiveness"